Custody disputes tough on women (but media fails to tell story)

Women’s E-News has written about this topic in the past – it’s the mainstream media outlets that ignore it:

Custody disputes now tougher for battered moms

However, certain injustices (crimes, really) that I first began tracking in the late 1970s have now gotten much worse. For example, battered women are losing custody to their batterers in record numbers. Children are being successfully brainwashed by fathers, but many mothers are being falsely accused of brainwashing. Worse: Children with mandated reporters–physicians, nurses or teachers–who report to them that they have been sexually abused by their fathers are usually given to those very fathers. The mothers of these children are almost always viewed as having “coached” or “alienated” the children and, on this basis alone, are seen as “unfit” mothers.

It’s even tough in Taiwan:

Judges in custody cases urged to think of children’s needs 

…It found that serious problems can arise when women are fighting for custody of their children.

In court, judges prefer not to change the status quo in the family. If the father takes the child away from the mother before or after the parents separate, for example, the judge will usually grant custody to the father, for fear that the child will have difficulty adjusting to a new lifestyle, she said.

Should the mother ask for a retrial, the case is heard in the same court and very often the judges still award custody to the father, Chi said.

Last year, judges ruled 61 percent of child custody disputes in favor of the father, she said.

“The judges are supposed to make their decisions based on the best interests of the child, but what we are seeing is totally different,” Chi said.

This is what can happen to women in a custody dispute (even w/o previous violence in the relationship) – it’s not happening to men on the same scale – yet the media is picking up on men’s stories in divorce & custody. Some articles don’t mention who has custody or where the biological mother is when the child(ren) is in the care of the custodial Dad.

Friends mourn teens killed in Chula Vista suicide 

A family friend told 10News the former attorney and life coach was having financial problems and was at risk of losing his home and full custody of the boys. He and his wife, Maria, filed for divorce in 2007.

He had full custody of two boys ages 13 and 15 – and he killed them both and them committed suicide (the 3rd murder-suicide this month in this area).

Press release on domestic violence and child custody policies in Hawaii

Media Advisory – Hawaii House of Representatives

June 20, 2011 – For Immediate Release

Contact: Office of Rep. John Mizuno, Telephone: 808-586-6050, Cell: 808-741-0639

LAWMAKERS TO HOLD BRIEFING ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND HEAR CONCERNS FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVORS AND DISCUSS THE NEED FOR POLICY CHANGE

Several domestic violence survivors will share their story of how they lost custody of their child(ren) to the abuser, even after a finding of domestic violence by the abuser

WHAT:            The House Human Services Chairman, Rep. John Mizuno, will hold a legislative briefing to address domestic violence in Hawaii.  Rep. Mizuno will identify certain concerns involving specific failures of the current “system” in adequately addressing domestic violence.  Rep. Mizuno will also be hearing from domestic violence victims, survivor advocates, and agencies working directly with domestic violence victims, issuing protective orders and temporary restraining orders.

 The briefing will:

              

                       • Identify and address concerns regarding domestic violence in Hawaii

                       • Explain the reason for the various bills which seek to provide greater protection for domestic violence victims

                       • Explain the difficulties in passing measures which seek to improve the state’s system in handling domestic violence cases

 

WHEN:            Tuesday, June 21, 2011 – 11:35 a.m. Hawaii Standard Time (Televised in Hawaii on Ch. 53, for Neighbor Island residents and nationwide go to the internet www.olelo.org – click NATV Ch. 53 for online live stream coverage)

WHERE:           Hawaii State Capitol, Room 329

WHY:              Rep. Mizuno was contacted by several survivors of domestic violence who will be sharing their stories with lawmakers during the briefing. According to Rep. Mizuno, “It is extremely concerning to hear that time after time the abusers who beat our victims, many times end up gaining custody of the children.  Based on our victims’ testimonies and information provided by organizations and advocates for domestic violence victims, I believe our current system has many major flaws in properly addressing domestic violence issues.  Therefore, I am looking for solid solutions to better address domestic violence statewide at the conclusion of this briefing.”

 -end-

Family Court: The good, the bad, and the ugly

The good & the bad:

Well, the good news is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) has been rejected for the upcoming DSM-5. Ms. Magazine blog ran an update of an article on PAS:

http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/06/10/%E2%80%9Cparental-alienation-syndrome-another-alarming-dsm-5-proposal/

This does help in our argument that PAS is not legitimate. The bad news is this won’t
stop it from being used in the courtroom (despite the lack of scientific evidence). Psychologists/evaluators will still say Mom is exhibiting alienating behavior or some derivative of it in the face of an abuse allegation.

The ugly:
We had (at least) two fathers recently who had cases similar to Casey Anthony’s and we’re still asking ourselves when will the media shed a light on fathers killing their children and/or mothers of the children, esp during “custody battles.”

Father charged in slaying of teen
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/father-charged-in-slaying-of-teen/2011/05/21/AFzRYj8G_story.html?wprss=rss_local
This father stabbed and molested his daughter, and then threw the body into a trash can.

Tanya Skelton granted custody of missing sons; John Skelton says she won’t see them
http://www.lenconnect.com/breaking/x795259618/Tanya-Skelton-granted-custody-of-missing-sons-John-Skelton-says-she-wont-see-them
This mother has not seen her 3 young sons since Thanksgiving, when they visited their father. They assume the father has killed them – he says he handed them over to an organization and won’t give them back to her unless he gets joint custody.
He’s proved he’s abusive by taking the sons (possibly killing them). He probably wants to lower or avoid child support since he’s raised the topic of other debts. And, research has shown that lack of access/time is not the real reason Dads kill their children. It’s just an excuse they use.

I don’t understand how Casey Anthony gets so much attention and we can’t shed any light on these cases to spark a debate.

Another man killed about 6 people at a family court, including his ex-wife’s attorney. And still – women are vengeful and not to be believed. Sigh.

Sheriff’s office identifies victims in Yuma shooting spree

According to court records Theresa and Carey Dyess were married in Tombstone May 2002 and filed for divorce in 2006. Theresa alleged domestic abuse and received an order of protection. Carey later took out his own order of protection against Theresa.
Court records also show the 2006 divorce was Carey Dyess’ fifth. It was final in 2007. Theresa bought out Carey’s share of their home and stayed in the house in Wellton, the same home where she was found dead Thursday morning.Carey Dyess also had an order of protection against a man he identified as ‘my wife’s boyfriend,” who he alleged was harassing him by driving by his home every day.

It was a nasty divorce that ultimately cost the Theresa, her three friends and attorney all their life and left another friend in the hospital.

Domestic violence and life expectancy link

Domestic violence linked to dying early 

COLUMBIA, Mo., June 8 (UPI) — Experts suggest the United States’ ranking  near the bottom of 33 developed countries for life expectancy at birth — 27th  — may be due to domestic violence.

Tina Bloom, an assistant professor in the Sinclair School of Nursing at the  University of Missouri, says leading causes of infant mortality are  complications related to pre-term birth or low birth weight-outcomes — both of  which can have a life-long impact — have been linked with domestic violence.

However, addressing maternal-child health disparities goes beyond the issue  of domestic violence because abused women need access to resources for finding  employment, affordable and safe housing, financial assistance, transportation  and healthcare, Bloom explains.

These social determinants of health, articulated in the U.S. Department of  Health and Human Services’ “Healthy People 2020,” a 10-year plan for improving  the health of Americans, heavily influence women’s responses to violence and the  health of women and children.

“Healthcare providers are not well trained to routinely screen or recognize  the signs of domestic violence,” Bloom says in a statement. “They don’t know how  to ask about abuse, what to say or how to connect abused women with help. We  need to engage with current students, our future healthcare providers, to bring  this issue to the forefront.”

Healthy mothers produce healthy babies and together they give rise to a  healthy population, Bloom adds.

Bloom’s findings are published in the Western Journal of Nursing Research.

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2011/06/08/Domestic-violence-linked-to-dying-earlier/UPI-89471307582183/#ixzz1OpSKgWtW

Headline hides the real story

Rock Hill police arrest suspect in car chase

The real story:  The backstabbing coward jumped out from the stairwell, beat his wife, and ran away.

Christopher McConnell, 32 of Catawba was wanted on two separate criminal  domestic violence charges.

Just after 5 a.m. May 14, a woman who has a child with McConnell said he  jumped out from behind the stairwell as she was returning to her apartment and  forced her into the apartment, according to a Rock Hill Police report. He is  accused of hitting her repeatedly before sitting on her bed and pouring tea all  over her.

Read more: http://www.heraldonline.com/2011/06/02/3115907/rock-hill-police-arrest-suspect.html#ixzz1OAVA4iUz

Please post comments on this article – the comment board is overrun by victim-blamers.

Special thanks to Claudine at My Amplify blog: http://angelfury.amplify.com/2011/06/02/rock-hill-father-arrested-after-several-brutal-assaults-to-the-mother-of-his-child/

 

Japan may succumb to pressure to join the Hague Treaty despite evidence that women often abduct children to protect them

Sometimes public opinion (or outdated research) holds more weight than facts. Too bad Japan is now considering joining a treaty that should be rehauled.

Cabinet to OK on May 20 preparations for joining child custody pact 

Japan has been under international pressure to join the child custody treaty, which would help resolve cases in which foreign parents are prevented from seeing their children in Japan after their marriages with Japanese nationals fail.

Protecting abducted kids: Rethinking the Hague Convention

In 1980, an international treaty was designed to return children who had been abducted by a parent who moved to another country. Back then, the people drafting the treaty thought the typical abductor would be a noncustodial father skipping town with the kids, leaving mom with little recourse to try to get her children back. So what happens, three decades later, when research indicates that 68% of the abducting parents in cases under this treaty are mothers — and that many of them are fleeing abusive spouses?

The Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, dubbed the Hague Convention after the place where it was finalized, has been adopted by 82 countries, which are expected to help return abducted children to their habitual residence within six weeks of a parent filing a petition. But Jeffrey Edleson and Taryn Lindhorst, lead researchers on a new study of Hague Convention cases, argue that the treaty is often used against women seeking safety for themselves — and for their children — from violent husbands. “We always thought that child abduction is a bad thing,” says Edleson, a professor of social work at the University of Minnesota. “But in some cases, mothers are taking children to protect them from greater harm.”

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2036246,00.html#ixzz1MB51Qs6o

Consider writing a letter to the editor at the Japan Times – they’ve covered this issue

Mother’s Day round up

Happy Mother’s Day to all – to those that have children, to those that have lost children, and to those that care for children.

When we hated mom – NY Times article by Stephanie Coontz – provides an historical account of motherhood from a (feminist) sociological perspective. Feminism, Coontz explains, has improved the lives of women (and men) – but, hey, we knew that! Interesting to note, though, society’s disparaging view of protective mothers:

Momism became seen as a threat to the moral fiber of America on a par with communism. In 1945, the psychiatrist Edward Strecher argued that the 2.5 million men rejected or discharged from the Army as unfit during World War II were the product of overly protective mothers.

From the Washington Post, we have an article on racism…onMother’s Day. Granted, I don’t get a home copy of the Post, but this is all I could find in their daily email of headlines. It seems some media outlets would rather celebrate anniversaries (Freedom Riders, David Goldman reuniting with his son) rather than Mothers. I object to racism too, but when can we get national discussions going on sexism? They can even be combined. But, as one writer pointed out, it’s worse to be a racist than a rapist. Both should be despised.

Freedom Riders, 50 years on,  see today’s youth as disconnected from racism

The heartless way Conservatives treat young women who choose to have babies by Amanda Marcotte

Everytime I think the Republicans/Conservatives couldn’t get any worse, they surprise me with their renewed spirit of misogyny. Gotta give it to them for disguising hate with “fiscal responsibility.” There’s always some reason to put women’s issues on the back burner…or to just burn them.

The girls were arrested for holding a sit-in to protest the closing of their school, the Catherine Ferguson Academy, which was established to serve students who are pregnant or mothering.  The school provides day care and parenting classes, and focuses on getting students to college and giving them skills that help future self-sufficiency.  Supposedly “pro-life” conservatives should not only be supporting this school, but demanding that every high school in the country provide these services to teenage mothers.  After all, these girls did what anti-choicers ask of them.  They chose to have their babies.  And now the very same conservatives that wax sentimental about “choosing life” are working to shut down the educational opportunities of young women who did what anti-choicers want, by having their babies.

Don’t forget the women who’ve had injuries or their lives cut short from the men that supposedly loved them and fathered children with them – and, please, don’t forget that it’s more often when these women do the “right thing” that they get injured or killed (far too many people, including feminists, blame the victim for “staying” with an abuser) –

Man charged with ambush slayings of ex, her dad

Orange County prosecutors have charged a 36-year-old man with murdering his ex-wife and her father after they came to his home to take court-ordered custody of the couple’s 7-year-old daughter.

Ex-wife. She left him. They came to take court-ordered custody. Court must have granted dad custody if they came to take her back. It wasn’t enough to kill the ex-wife. He killed her father, too — he shot them both in the backs, the coward.  This 7-year-old just lost her mother (and grandfather) in the week leading up to Mother’s Day. 

Roughly 3 women die every day in domestic violence in this country. This week alone, we’ve lost 21 women, many of whom were mothers.

Candlelight vigil for murdered mother of four

Fresno – Four kids are dealing with the loss of their mother after a murder-suicide in southeast Fresno Tuesday.

The kids were joined about 100 family members and friends Wednesday night for a candlelight vigil.

They gathered on Shields Avenue, the spot where 28-year-old Jennifer Puentes Chatman died, after her ex-boyfriend, 34-year-old Richard Haynes, shot her.

She is the victim of a deadly domestic violence dispute.

This article also ‘blamed the victim’, saying she had chances to leave, but didn’t. But – why didn’t she? Because he threatened to take or kill the kids? Because she feared sharing custody with him or worse, losing custody all together? Because she didn’t have faith in the justice system? Because she feared not being believed? Because women are in greatest danger when they leave?

 Mom with cancer loses custody of kids

This 37-year-old stay-at-home mother lost custody of her 2 children because she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. She lives in North Carolina. The father is taking the kids to Illinois. Nice. What a Mother’s Day.

No woman, no cry – Oprah is offering this documentary for free for the next ten days. It discusses death during childbirth.

Mothers rally for fairness in courts

Lori has spent the last eight years fighting the courts for custody of her two children. It began, she said, with her accusing her then-husband of abusing their 3-year-old boy and year-old girl. It ended with him gaining custody and her getting visitation rights.

“He drained me out,” said the 47-year-old Westfield woman, who declined to give her full name for fear it would hurt her future custody chances. She can’t afford a lawyer and has to represent herself after spending more than $100,000 in legal fees over the years.

She was a housewife. He is a lawyer. She has little money. He has lots.

It is a formula that legal experts and advocates say creates a lopsided matchup in the courtroom for custody cases – one in which the mother most often loses.

It looks like HE takes HER to the cleaners – then, why, oh why, does the media portray the opposite?

And, remember, there’s a candlelight vigil tonight from 6-9 pm in front of the White House (see post below).

Happy Mother’s Day to all — Let’s work towards improving the very lives that give us life

Montana gets it right on domestic violence policies

Finally, some good news!

Montana high court ruling protects domestic violence victims in custody cases

A recent Montana Supreme Court decision means that domestic violence victims no longer can be forced into mediation over custody arrangements in divorce cases.

“Parents and children are going to be safer because of this decision,” said Monte Jewell, the Missoula attorney who appealed the case, Hendershott v. Westphal, to the Supreme Court.