Okay, so I often discuss myths, stereotypes & lies (oh my!). I’ve had a nagging thought, thanks to an email communication, about nagging wives (see the recent post called ‘A nagging headline’). The emailer sent various links from a Google search in regard to nagging wives. I decided to Google it myself and take a gander. Here are some results (the good, the bad & the ugly!):
A brief history of nagging
It is this utter powerlessness of the wife which is the source of nagging. The dictionary defines the word “nag” as “To annoy by constant scolding, complaining, or urging.” Bereft of economic, physical or political power, women only had words to defend themselves. They have had to walk the thin line between nagging enough to get their point across and nagging which got them thrown out of the house or beaten or worse, killed. Nagging was the only weapon the wife had, whose constant grating could cut some of the bonds of oppression under which she lived. By its very nature of being constant and repetitive, nagging also becomes unbearable for the person it is directed towards – the husband. If the woman has been a prisoner of the patriarchal cage, her constant scratching at its prison bars with her nagging words, has been her husband’s scourge. Marx’s famous saying about nations, ““any nation that oppresses another, forges its own chains”, can easily be transposed in this context to argue that any human who oppresses another forges his own chains (of nagging).
How to avoid being a nagging wife
Open this link, if you dare! It sounds like it’s straight out of a 1950s Good Housekeeping magazine on how to make your husband happy – you know, by bringing him his slippers and making him a martini.
Husbands who kill wives can no longer claim they were provoked
Okay, well at least now we’re moving into this century. Here’s an excerpt:
Following several years of consultation, the Government will next week announce the end of the “crime of passion” defence of provocation used by virtually all male defendants pleading not guilty to murder of a female partner.
Around 100 men a year kill their former or current partners, and provocation – such as failing to cook a meal, or persistent nagging – is the main form of defence used by barristers.
Relatives have complained that they have found it upsetting when murder suspects invoke lurid allegations about the victims’ private lives.
Umm, it’s not just the murder suspects, it’s also the media that’s responsible for using “nagging” or any other negative trait as a type of “defense” – we must hold them accountable too.
Indian husbands seek refuge from nagging wives
There are nagging husbands too, but not as far as a particular group of Indian husbands are concerned. They are demanding that the local government create a male protection society to address their grievances.
The men have claimed that they have had enough torment from their spouses and they marched through the streets of the northern city of Lucknow dressed as grooms and demanding a National Commission For Men.
“We are asking for equal rights. We want somebody to listen to the grievances of men,” said Subhash Dube, a medical doctor who described himself as a victimized husband.
For sale: nagging wife, very high maintenance
A British man fed up with his wife’s complaints advertised her for sale – and got a number of offers.
Hmm, apparently there’s a demand for nagging wives – seems some can appreciate them.
A study lends credence to men’s claims of being nagged by their wives .
You’ve heard it before and you are bound to hear it again. Men’s claims of being bugged by nagging women aren’t going to end any time soon. For, if a recent study is to be believed, women spend 7,920 minutes in a year nagging their husbands about household chores, drinking and health.
A study? Are they really trying to get “scientific evidence” that women nag? (Kinda like when researchers measured female craniums and said scientific evidence indicates that smaller heads were less intelligent?) Do they try to find scientific evidence in any other stereotypes?! Now, that’s going to be a nagging thought tonight…
Here’s what I have to say about nagging –
It ain’t nagging if you do it the first time!