Twice victimized

I’m happy to see sexual assault getting more media attention these days, stemming from the Penn State scandal. I can only hope this will continue to snowball – to include family court cases, for example.

The New York Times ran this article and has a follow up next week on the care of victims:

The twice victimized of sexual assault

It is all too easy to see why. More often than not, women who bring charges of sexual assault are victims twice over, treated by the legal system and sometimes by the news media as lying until proved truthful.

“There is no other crime I can think of where the victim is more victimized,” said Rebecca Campbell, a professor of psychology at Michigan State University who for 20 years has been studying what happens legally and medically to women who are raped. “The victim is always on trial. Rape is treated very differently than other felonies.”

So, too, are the victims of lesser sexual assaults. In 1991, when Anita Hill, a lawyer and academic, told Congress that the Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas had sexually harassed her repeatedly when she worked for him, Ms. Hill was vilified as a character assassin and liar acting on behalf of abortion-rights advocates.

Credibility became the issue, too, for Nafissatou Diallo, an immigrant chambermaid who accused the head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, of forcing her to perform fellatio in a Manhattan hotel room. Prosecutors eventually dropped the case after concluding that Ms. Diallo had lied on her immigration form and about other matters, though not directly about the encounter with Mr. Strauss-Kahn.

When four women, two of whom identified themselves publicly, said they had been sexually harassed by Herman Cain, the Republican presidential hopeful, they, too, were called liars, perhaps hired by his opponents.

Charges of sexual harassment often boil down to “she said-he said” with no tangible evidence of what really took place. But even when there is DNA evidence of a completed sexual act, as there was in the Strauss-Kahn case, the accused commonly claim that the sex was consensual, not a crime.

Female murder-suicide case

Okay, I don’t see a ‘nice woman kills family’ template like is typical with the “nice guy kills ex/wife/family.” But, like with male perps, they have not identified this woman’s relationship to the baby – nor have they mentioned the other victims in the headline:

Neighbor saw woman shoot at baby

 

Authorities have said five people, including two children and a baby, were killed in a murder-suicide, but they haven’t identified the shooter. The bodies were found Friday in Emington, a small farming community about 80 miles southwest of Chicago.

What drives a father to kill?

Does this sound like the guy is trying to rationalize a father’s violence or be sympathetic to it? Kinda creepy.

What drives a father to kill?

The typical profile of a family annihilator is a middle-aged man, a good provider who appears dedicated, devoted and loyal to his family. However, he is usually quite socially isolated, with few friends and with profound feelings of frustration and inadequacy. The tipping point is some catastrophic loss or impending tragedy that threatens to undermine his sense of self and amplifies his feelings of impotence and powerlessness. In individuals for whom their family is an integral part of their identity – part of themselves, rather than a separate being – murdering the family is akin to a single act of suicide. It is a way of regaining control; of obliterating the impending crisis. This explains why men will often not only kill their partner and children, but also pets and destroy their property by setting fires. It is an eradication of everything that constitutes the self.

In addition to this, they are often motivated by bitterness and anger and a desire to punish the spouse; while killing the partner is an act of revenge, killing the children is an act of love as he believes he – and therefore they – will be better off dead than face the imminent loss of power.

While this points to severe psychological problems with underlying personality issues and maladaptive coping strategies, this, in itself, does not necessarily constitute a mental illness. However, professionals are divided as to whether these men can be held truly culpable for their actions. For the few that survive, jurors tend to find them responsible for their actions and therefore guilty of murder, but some end up detained in secure psychiatric hospitals indefinitely.

Experts, such as Jack Levin, Professor of Sociology and Criminology at the Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts who has studied family annihilators, have argued that they typically do know right from wrong and points to the fact that they are well planned and selective and that if a friend came along, the father wouldn’t kill him or her – instead, he kills his children to get even with his wife because he blames her and hates her.

Others, such as Tony Black, former chief psychologist at Broadmoor, are more circumspect. Black has argued that for anyone to commit such a heinous crime, there must be something fundamentally wrong with them and it is unhelpful just to simply think of them as ‘bad’. But what can be done to prevent such atrocities? Is there the possibility of intervention before such murders take place or ways to identify at risk men?

Scott Mackenzie, a consultant forensic psychiatrist in Essex who has assessed family annihilators for the criminal justice system, feels that often there are underlying anti-social personality traits and fundamental issues with rage and anger management. But these psychological traits are not uncommon in the population, and most will never go on to murder their family. ‘Those who act are often angry and resentful individuals. There is often a prior pattern of domestic abuse. But predicting with any reliability who will suddenly flip and resort to this kind of behaviour is incredibly difficult, if not near impossible. After any such incident there are inevitably questions asked if anything could be done, if someone could have intervened or spotted the signs. Tragically, in most cases, the answer is no.’

Wrong answer! Here is how we prevent it:

  • Look for the red flags (anger, resentment, abuse, control, coercion)
  • Take threats seriously
  • Believe women when they express fear
  • Do NOT provide leniency in domestic violence
  • Treat domestic violence like other crimes
  • Educate society on domestic violence (myths vs. reality)
  • Don’t be silent about abuse – it can lead to shame, victim blaming, tolerance for this crime
  • Change how the media present stories – the “nice guy”‘ murders wife – does not provide the context to understand DV
  • Change the culture – violence against women is not inevitable

 

Police officers won’t be charged with domestic violence

Of course they won’t…

Two officers arrested in domestic violence cases won’t be charged

http://www.jsonline.com/watchdog/watchdogreports/2-officers-arrested-in-domestic-violence-cases-wont-be-charged-5e3ffuf-135762328.html

Interesting…

Domestic violence is far more common among the families of police officers than among the rest of the population, according to the U.S. Department of Justice and the National Center for Women and Policing. At least 40% of police families are affected by domestic violence, as opposed to an estimated 10% in other households.

Male privilege on the Internet

Interesting post on the Feminist Law Professors blog – written by a male ally :-)

Harassment, male privilege, and jokes that women just don’t get

http://www.feministlawprofessors.com/2011/11/harassment-male-privilege-jokes-women-dont/

Male privilege on the internet — or in law, or in society at large — isn’t going away any time soon. But let’s call it out, and let’s label it for what it is. When male interlocutors tell a female writer that she is overreacting and just isn’t getting the joke, they are speaking from a starting place of male privilege. They are assuming that casual threats of violence are something which can easily be shrugged off, and are ignoring the vast difference between lived experiences of men and women in America. And they are denying the reality of something which, in all likelihood, they don’t even understand.

I’m baaaack

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I was pretty busy these past 3 months – I went back to work full-time, bought a condo, went on vacation, and now, am getting ready for the holidays. My posts will probably still be a bit erratic, but I wanted to get back into the swing of things.

And, I have to say, while I’ve been away, the posts  about horrific rapes (tied up, peed on…) have been getting some of the most hits – and I don’t think they’re looking at these posts from an analytic viewpoint if you know what I mean. How ironic to write about sexual violence and have the pervs show up. I hope they did some reading while they were here.

 

 

 

 

“Nice dad” kills daughter

Okay, you know those “nice guy” kills wife stories – well, they also apply to children. In this article, the paternal grandfather says what a great guy his son was and blames the deaths on the family court system. I understand that the perpetrator was his son, but when are people going to take accountability for their actions? Killing your 2-year-old daughter does not, can not change family court. And, saying it does to the media – well, why not just tell dads to keep killing their kids?

Slain girl’s grandfather says court system pushed his son over the edge

Here’s another side to this sympathetic story – the ex-wife feared him and separated from him while pregnant

Family: Custody issue central in dad-daughter death Mother feared for her child’s safety

Court records, reviewed by KCRA, also reveal that the mother had grave concerns  about her daughter when she was not returned from a court appointed visit with  her father. Those records also confirm that a judge had previously ordered the  father to undergo anger management counseling.

“I believe (Mourad Samaan) is out of control and our daughter is in  imminent danger in his custody,” read a court document filed August 8, 2011.

The mother also asked a judge to deny Mourad Samaan further visitation  rights until a hearing on August 30, court records show.

Read more: http://www.kcra.com/news/28871771/detail.html#ixzz1VFJSbKHv

Another family court decision that resulted in death. Is the system broken, as the grandfather says? It sures is when it hands over innocent children to adults with anger issues, against the wishes of a frightened mother, and ends with the murder of children.

Criminalizing moms

This article makes an excellent point about black mothers – but, it also applies to any mother.  On other posts, I’ve written about mothers being held to higher standards than fathers, mothers being jailed for refusing to hand over custody to abusers, and mothers being treated unjustly by the family court system.

Jezebels, welfare queens–and now, criminally bad black moms

Nelson was chasing after him with her 2-year-old daughter in her arms when the family was hit by a driver with two prior drunk driving and hit-and-run convictions on his record. He was again drunk that night, and later served six months in jail for his crime.

For her loss, the Cobb County solicitor general charged Nelson, who didn’t even own a car, with vehicular manslaughter. When an all-white jury found her guilty in July, news of Nelson’s conviction and the possible three-year prison sentence she faced led to a national outcry and an online campaign for leniency. At her sentencing a judge gave her community service instead of jail time, and in a rare move, offered Nelson a new trial. Last week, Nelson accepted.

And -

“It’s a hard time to be a poor black mother,” Jones said. “Structurally, the support systems for them have been severely eroded and there are just more ways to punish people for being bad parents than there were in the past, because the criminal justice system is more punitive.”

In the last 20 years, women of color have become the fastest growing segment of the prison population, driven in large part by new classes of crimes that have been created or relabeled, said University of Hawaii criminologist Meda Chesney-Lind. Where 20 years ago crimes like the sale and possession of tiny amounts of drugs, or drug use during pregnancy, were not even considered crimes, today they are fueling a massive uptick in incarceration rates. The addition of mandatory minimum prison sentencing over the years eliminated judges’ discretion and contributed to these racially disparate increases.

And-

In January, Ohio mom Kelley Williams-Bolar was charged with falsifying records when she used her father’s home address to get her daughters into a better school in a wealthier neighboring school district. She served 10 days in jail, and even though the theft charges were dismissed after a similar national outcry, the felony on her record has threatened her career in special education.

In April, Norwalk, Connecticut officials prosecuted Tanya McDowell for doing something similar; she’s pleaded not guilty. “I just want to know: When does it become a crime to seek a better education for your child?” McDowell said at the time, the Norwalk Patch reported.

In 2009, South Carolina officials took Jerri Gray’s obese son Alexander Draper away from her and put him in foster care because, they argued, the teen’s health was in danger and he was no longer safe with his mother. Gray lost custody of her son, and then was charged with criminal neglect. Two years later, her charges are still pending, her attorney says, and Draper lives with his aunt. Last week, the latest in a series of studies showed how difficult it would be for a low-income family to buy groceries that meet the USDA’s standard for nutritious eating.

McDowell, Williams-Bolar, Nelson and Gray are all single parents, all black mothers struggling in tough circumstances to raise their families. Where poor black mothers are concerned, compassion’s in short supply, but there’s plenty of blame to hand over.

Want further proof? Here’s 2 cases just from today:

Shamika Koyce Dunn arrested for felony child neglect   (How many times do they put the father’s entire name in the headline?)

Authorities arrested Shamika Koyce Dunn, of Woodbridge. Her 3-year-old daughter was discovered walking in the street unattended.

Police returned the child to her home and, while investigating, Dunn returned home carrying half a bottle of wine and was in possession of marijuana, police said.

The child was in good condition. Police say young girl is now in the custody of another family member.

I’m sorry, but this behavior would be excused if it were a father (particularly if he was white). It would be considered a minor blip in his parenting skills. The child was, afterall, unharmed.

Here’s a case of a day-care provider – a very young woman (23) who’s trying to make a living taking care of children – not earning very much – and now charged with a felony – that will likely ruin her short-lived career. Again, the kids were unharmed.

Prince William day-care provider charged with neglect 

A Prince William County day-care provider was accused of child neglect after a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old in her care wandered out of her house and into the neighborhood, police said.

For a comparison to how dads are treated, look at this recent case where the boy was beat and shoved inside a stove – yes, a stove.

Son begs for leniency for dad who stuffed him in oven

A Staten Island man who brutally beat his then-9 year old son, stripping him naked, burning his hands and then throwing him into a kitchen oven, will serve just four months in jail on weekends for the attack.

And-

Police said Moss punched his son in the face and then pushed him into the oven,  threatening “I’m going to burn you alive!” The boy begged to be let out of the  oven, which wasn’t turned on, and then the father forced him, still naked, out  the front door.

When Moss’ wife got home from work, she took her son to the hospital, where he was treated for second and third degree burns.

And-

Judge Collini responded, “This court feels compelled to temper justice with understanding and compassion, for the victim.” He sentenced James Moss to four months of weekends in county jail, with five years of supervised probation. James Moss can’t be reunited with his family at this time but will continue supervised visits with his son.

Outside court, Moss’ 11 year old son was led away by his mother and a caseworker, wearing a dark baseball cap and
sunglasses.

When PIX 11 asked Moss’ defense attorney if the sentence was a slap on the wrist, he replied, “It’s absolutely not a slap on the wrist! The judge took into consideration the wishes of the victim.” As the judge pointed out, he–with his sentence–did not want to add to the trauma of a child who’s already been severely traumatized.

Raleigh dad charged after child wanders roadway 

Raleigh police say a 3-year-old girl is OK after she wandered out of her house and walked across four lanes of traffic while her father was home asleep.

Authorities say the girl was found several blocks from her home around 11 a.m. Wednesday.

Police charged the girl’s father, 27-year-old Aaron Harris Rush, with misdemeanor child abuse.

 

Today Show’s major media bias in psycho ex-wife case

The Today Show has showed major bias against battered mothers in the past – yesterday was no different – but, if possible, it was a bit worse than usual. Bonnie Russell posted her interview with Allison Morelli on this blog:

@Bonnie Russell…Allison Morelli…The follow up: What was the Today Show thinking?

Someone sent it to Allison and she contacted me. I subsequently learned in the five hours TODAY Show free-lance producers spent with Ms. Morelli, much which was very important didn’t air.  Turns out the Today Show piece was worse than most could have imagined.

Not mentioned

That the Psycho Ex-Wife did not solely slam Allison Morelli.  The site also featured posts that were highly critical of both boys. Criticism that will not be repeated here.  That was not featured in any part of the interview regarding a court system that is supposed to oversee the best interests of the children.

Read Russell’s interview with Morelli here.