The DIY guide to preventing rape

Okay, I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. I read the comments on the Ad campaign: She didn’t ask for it  And, well, here’s what I came up with from compiling the comments –

The DIY Guide to Preventing Rape

Okay, ladies, before you begin getting all emotional and shrill, rest assured rape is not that common. In fact, it’s a rare phenomena. Most rape charges are false allegations, anyway. (Note: men frame men, which requires skill; women falsely accuse men, which only requires vengeance and lying) Why, just an allegation is enough for any man to lose his job, his home, his friends, and his savings. So, most of you are just ruining men’s lives by these trumped-up charges. And, for the small minority of women that are truly raped, we have these guidelines for you to follow so you can prevent yourself from getting raped:

• If you watch your alcohol intake, we men can go ahead and drink and not cause you any trouble. That’s because a sober woman can handle a drunk man. Even if we’re drunk, hell, we still understand consent, so don’t you worry your little heads about our drinking. But you – keep it to a minimum. We’re not trying to be like the Middle East and prevent you from drinking – we’re not like that – we just want you to be respectable and keep your drinking to just a few rounds.
• We know you buy clothes to impress men, so why don’t you just cut that out? Buy practical garb – again, this aint’ the Middle East  – we ain’t saying you gotta wear a burqa or anything like that – but, you know, keep it on the modest side. The sight of your body – well, no one can be responsible for their actions if they see parts of you exposed.
• And, flirting, we all know that that’s just asking for trouble. What would you expect?

If you follow these 3 simple guidelines, created by us for your benefit, it will prevent a rape, which, afterall, is not that common, especially when you couple these rules with some good old common sense. Why, you too can prevent your own rape!

Now, let’s see how these rules – compiled from comments on the article  – compare with some risk-reduction (not prevention – that would focus on rapists behavior) suggestions.

RAINN

In a social situation

When you go to a party, go with a group of friends. Arrive together, check in with each other and leave together.

Practice safe drinking. Try not to leave any beverages unattended or accept drinks from someone you don’t know or trust.

Have a buddy system. Don’t be afraid to let a friend know if something is making you uncomfortable or if you are worried about your or your friend’s safety.

If someone you don’t know or trust asks you to go somewhere alone, let him or her know that you would rather stay with the group.

Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you are and who is around you may help you to find a way out of a bad situation.

Safe drinking

Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe in any situation, go with your gut. If you see something suspicious, contact the police immediately

Don’t leave your drink unattended while talking, dancing, using the restroom, or making a phone call.

At parties, don’t drink from punch bowls or other large, common open containers.

Don’t accept drinks from people you don’t know or trust and never leave your drink unattended – if you’ve left your drink alone, just get a new one. If you choose to accept a drink, go with the person to the bar to order it, watch it being poured, and carry it yourself.

Watch out for your friends, and vice versa. Always leave the party or bar together. If a friend seems out of it, is way too intoxicated for the amount of alcohol they’ve had, or is acting out of character, get him or her to a safe place immediately.

If you suspect you or a friend has been drugged, call 911, and be explicit with doctors so they’ll give you the right tests (you’ll need a urine test and possibly others). The National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE) can often send an advocate to the hospital to help you through the whole process.

And, RAINN states 1/6 women and 1/33 men will be sexually assaulted. 60% of rapes will go unreported. And, only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

So guys (and ladies), victims cannot prevent their own rapes. They can reduce their risks, but like humans we sometimes let down our guards, we sometimes drink too much, and yes, sometimes we reveal too much flesh – none of these are reasons for a sexual assault. We need to start talking about prevention and all that that entails – promoting healthy relationships, developing coping skills, respecting human rights, etc.