What’s a mother to do?

Here’s an article from the UK that sums up the “raw deal” (a term used by fathers righters) mothers face in family court:

Inside the family courts: A raw deal for mums?

After years of high-profile stunts by pressure groups such as Fathers4Justice, many people assume that men still systematically fare badly in family courts. But in the wake of a recent spate of stories highlighting the treatment of mothers considered “too stupid” or disruptive or too busy working to look after, or even be allowed contact with, their children, some question if the pendulum has begun to swing the other way.

I hear the stories of mothers whose experiences have convinced them of it. Isabel is a former teacher, aged 40, now living in the northeast of England. Her voice trembles as she tells of a lengthy legal battle with her wealthy ex-husband for custody of her son. “He left me when I was pregnant and showed little interest in our son at first. But as soon as he got a new girlfriend with children of her own, he wanted to impress her by playing the family man, and applied for contact and eventually full custody,” she says. Her ex-husband, a prominent businessman, Isabel says, is a bully who intimidated social workers into writing negative reports about her mothering abilities. She tried to challenge them in court, only to be told, she says, by the judge who granted her son’s father increased contact: “Any more from you and you will never see your son again.”

“It was all about control as far as my ex was concerned,” she says, “and because he had a cousin in the legal profession, he knew how to play the system. I began to be treated like some sort of criminal and entered a living hell.”

You could hand them over:

Icelandic woman forced to give up children to USA

An Icelandic woman received a court order to return to the United States with her two children before the next coming Sunday. Borghildur Gudmundsdottir had the two children with an American soldier who wants to have custody over the children in the United States. Gudmundsdottir told Morgunbladid she wonders if it is considered alright to throw Icelanders out from their own country “like throwing out old rags”. She continued, asking who has the right to kick two children out of a country and strip all security and safety from their mother. Her children are aged 10 and five and are said to be doing well in school and life in Iceland.

 

You might be forced to have visitation:

Police arrest man after park incident

He allegedly pointed a loaded gun at his former girlfriend, Calah Trostel, 25, of Medford, at about 4:17 p.m. at the park along Holmes Avenue in southwest Medford just three hours after a Jackson County Circuit Court judge denied Trostel’s petition for a restraining order against Breaux and temporary custody of their son.

“I just couldn’t believe it,” Trostel said. “If I had gotten that restraining order none of this would have happened.”

Breaux and Trostel, who was accompanied by relatives and friends, met at the park so that Breaux could visit their 3-year-old son shortly before the fight ensued at about 4:17 p.m., said police Lt. Tim Doney.

Trostel said if she had been granted a restraining order and temporary custody, she could have sent a relative to bring their son for the visit.

Without the restraining order, she said, she had to accompany the toddler. Otherwise, Breaux would have had the legal right to take him from anyone who isn’t the boy’s mother, she said.

“At some point, he started taking the child to his vehicle,” Doney said. Some of Trostel’s relatives and friends intervened to stop him, Doney said. Breaux then went to his vehicle and pulled into the South Holly Street parking lot where Trostel, her son, her 11-year-old niece and her 7-year-old nephew were getting into a parked vehicle, Trostel said. Breaux allegedly blocked the vehicle from leaving and pointed a loaded semi-automatic handgun at Trostel, Doney said.

Well, you could sue:

Mother sues over baby’s murder 

The mother of a baby murdered by his father is now suing over his death.
Candice Dempsey filed a federal lawsuit Thursday morning against the city of Lawrenceburg and two police officers, Chris Atkins and Nathan Doty.
Dempsey says the officers took 21-month old Cole Frazier from her back in May and gave him to his father, Timothy Frazier. Frazier shot and killed the toddler and then committed suicide at his Nelson County home back in May.
Dempsey claims the officers didn’t have authority to remove the baby from her custody. She says they took the baby because they didn’t read an emergency protection order properly.

You could also appeal:

Breaking news: Mother regains custody after appeal

After years of litigation a little boy is returned to the legal custody of his mother after the New York Appellate Division of the Supreme Court, Second Department, in the case of Larkin v. White, Appeal Number 2009-00143 overturned the New York Family Court Decision, docket numbers V-09582-07 and V-9760/07 granting custody to the Father. The decision deals with Judical custody and is published on line at http://www.courts.state.ny.us, and at http://www.nycdivorcelawyer.net. New York divorce attorney Lisa Beth Older represented the Mother.

 

But, really folks, does it have to come to this? Stop punishing women. Start listening to women and children. Take allegations of abuse seriously.

That’s not too much to ask, is it?