Is it worse to be a racist or a rapist?

Ooh, ooh, I know this one! A racist! Right?

Hat’s off to Keli Goff for writing Is it worse to be a racist or a rapist? What Gibson, Brown and Polanski teach us. I was heartsickened to find out Switzerland was letting Polanski go. Ply a 13-year-old with alcohol and drugs, rape her, serve a few days in jail and live the rest of your life as an “icon.” The media and Hollywood may worship Polanski, but the mere mention of his name turns my stomache. Like Goff, I think he’s poo – a disgusting old dirt bag that (well, like the majority of perps who commit violence against women) got off too easy.

The idea that men can commit violence against women and have impunity is not new – but it’s not well-known.  One and a half to 3 million women are killed each year by men in this world. Impunity is the #1 reason it continues unabated. Sexual violence during war, rape, domestic violence, honor killings, acid attacks, female genital mutilation, sexual slavery and femicide exist in this world – it receives little media attention – it receives little commitment by governments to take action – it receives little fanfare by societies that deem it inevitable for women and girls to be subjected to violence and abuse by men.

  • In the Congo, where atrocity rapes are occuring, I cringe when I realize that there is more stigma to being a rape victim than a rapist.
  • In Guatemala, to be initiated into a gang, one must rape and kill a female. Since these youth are new to killing – you can imagine their inexperienced hands wielding a knife – it would be considered more humane to kill bulls in Spain than it would to describe how these young men kill young girls.
  • In South Africa, 28% of men have admitted to raping a woman (Yet The Daily Show thought the “news” of finding a racist was more interesting and humorous to finding a rapist – I’m sure they have no idea as to what’s happening to women – why would they afterall? The news is not reporting this).
  • In Florida recently, a man killed his ex-wife and targeted 6 women (not men), killing 3 of them. This man shot at 7 women in total. You haven’t heard this story? I’m not surprised.

Here’s some excerpts from Goff’s post:

In Gibson’s case it appears that everyone was so focused on not approving of his so-called “golddigging” girlfriend (whom Gibson accused of extortion) that whether or not he knocked her teeth loose became secondary to whether or not she was trying to possibly turn his knocking her teeth loose to her financial advantage. But the most telling clue regarding where our priorities lie, is that the majority of headlines chronicling Gibson’s downfall in recent weeks, from major publications to small blogs, highlight Gibson’s alleged use of the N-word on tape, not the fact that he appears to be terrorizing a woman with an infant on tape. It’s as though everyone universally had it with Gibson only after tapes initially created to support her allegations of abuse happened to include his use of the N-word.

The Civil Rights movement has helped change society’s mindset about race relations and language – it’s far from perfect, but we have come a long way (baby). We have NOT come a long way in terms of the Violence Against Women movment. We still witness countless injuries and deaths, impunity that protects perps, propaganda about false allegations that severely threatens justice, defenses that protect males and their careers, and apathy from leaders and the public.

So why is it that much of Hollywood is ready to welcome admitted statutory rapist Roman Polanski back with open arms, and much of black Hollywood is arguing that people like myself need to get over it already regarding Chris Brown’s assault on Rhianna? (Note to Polanski and Brown: It might help some of us who think you’re both poo to “get over it” if you were to display an ounce of real remorse over what you did, as opposed to remorse for the inconvenience it has presented to your careers. If you’d like to see how “remorseful” Polanski really is (or rather isn’t) for violating a child, listen to him in his own words in one of his last TV interviews on the matter.)

We all know that Gibson, Brown and Polanski are not the first notable public figures to be accused of abusing a woman, and will not be the last. Besides the countless professional athletes who have been accused of assault, in recent years various elected officials have been accused of everything from choking a woman, to slashing a girlfriend’s face (Click here to view a tally of members of Congress accused of spousal abuse as recently as a few years ago.)

But I guess the silver lining for abusers everywhere is that it looks like unless you use a racial slur while committing abuse you might be okay, career wise.

Yeah, Power to the Perps as I say.

And if you really need another piece of evidence to see how we protect perps and men, in particular, look at the video attached to this article: Dad tosses tot into traffic: Cops An off-duty police officer witnessed the father throwing his 18-month-old infant into traffic. The mother? She sticks up for the dad. Because men can do no wrong? (Oh, wait, that’s contrary to gender stereotypes) Because it would harm his career? (No, that’s contrary to facts). Hmmm. Hell, I don’t know why does she stick up for him?  Why would anyone want to offer him impunity?

Today is history

After years, perhaps even a decade or two, of watching the Today Show, I am changing the channel for good. Yesterday had me so livid, I was in a bad mood all day.

In a segment on the Craigslist Killer, they demonstrated to us how stupid women are. Look, they said, all these women posted ads on Craigslist despite the fact that a killer targeted these women recently. How stupid can you get, ladies?

Umm, gee, instead of looking at how stupid women are for making a living that pays $4,000/week, can we look at the men that choose to use violence towards women, please? Would accountability really be that hard of a pill to swallow?

In one sentence they then lost me as a viewer permanently. They said, they must “save them from themselves” in reference to the women. Oh, now, there’s a classic. Folks, we must save women from themselves! Yes, they are raping, stalking and killing themselves in astounding numbers and we must save them from themselves! (Remind me again what century we’re in?)

That wasn’t their only gaffe, though. A few weeks ago they had a segment on relationships and said women should lower their expectations. Seeing that it came just a short while after the Chris Brown – Rihanna abuse incident, I thought telling women to lower their expectations hinged on the ludicrous.

Then there was the Dr. Laura segment that praised homemakers (and implied what about career women?)  I think stay-,at-home mothers are great too (and greatly underappreciated), however, I really question praising a system that is built on dependency. If abuse is present, that woman will be stuck in her situation (and called “stupid” by those that don’t understand the dynamics of domestic violence). If the man decides to leave, that woman will have to start at ground zero in regard to work and will have lost savings and retirement money. And, moreover, society loses out on the talent that could contribute to its development. So, no, I have nothing against it, but I will not promote it. I simply see it as an option for those (men and women) who choose it for themselves, based on their own circumstances.

Anyway, back to the Today Show. After many happy years together, I’m boycotting it. I’ve got to save myself from further abuse, you know? 

Write to the Today Show at: