One less

Check out Jodi Jacobson’s great article in RH Reality Check: The Millennium Development…Guys? It made me heartsick to read about an agency like the UN putting a bunch of males, particularly males holding the viewpoints that these guys do, in charge of groups responsible for advocating for maternal and child health, HIV/AIDS, economic development, etc.

Consider also that virtually all of these issues remained invisible–or just plain unimportant–to the largely male power structures in every country for the past several decades, until the global women’s movement gained traction in their fight to put them on the global agenda.

Given these realities, it would seem that appointments to a recently convened United Nations High-level Advocacy Group focused on pushing for progress on the Millennium Development Goals would take pains to put high-level women in charge–at least in equal numbers to their male counterparts–of advocating for maternal health, child health, and HIV and AIDS, as well as those “other things” like economic development, in which women, as all the development literature has repeated ad nauseum for 40 years, are essential actors.  

This is especially problematic because:

Men continue to control the agenda and to decide how much or how little money and attention will be paid to ending the epidemic of pregnancy- and sexually-transmitted infection-related deaths and illnesses that robs millions of women of their lives and health every year worldwide.  Men continue to decide what priorities will be on the table when they do “pay attention” to these issues, and when they won’t, for reasons of their own political or financial agendas or their own ideological or political affiliations or all of the above, address honestly one of the leading and most preventable causes of pregnancy-related death and illness, that being unsafe abortion. Men continue to decide  whether they will, for the sake of ideology cloaked as “common ground,” push for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs that leave women disproportionately vulnerable to HIV and AIDS, leave the issue of safe abortion out of research and international documents, confront other issues like stoning as “adulterers” women who’ve been raped, or “accept” that ending the war in Afghanistan likely means leaving women to the “mercy” of the Taliban.

Personally, this paragraph was one of the most upsetting:

So why is it that Bob Geldof, the Irish singer and political advocate is being assigned to advocate for “all MDGs”–including those addressing maternal and child health and HIV and AIDS, when Michelle Bachelet, the former president of Chile who grappled directly with high rates of unintended pregnancy and unsafe abortion in her own country, is assigned only to the MDG focused on gender equality and empowerment? (The MDG, by the way, which everyone agrees is the lowest priority in terms of funding and which also can’t be separated from the others.) Geldof and his colleague Bono–no matter how well-intentioned–both are associated with the ONE campaign, which, while it advocates for ending poverty in Africa, has also advocated for abstinence-only-until marriage programs in PEPFAR, to deny HIV-positive women access to family planning services, and against efforts to address safe abortion as an integral aspect of women’s health and rights.

I used to be a member of the ONE campaign. Ugh. I don’t know why, but I was unaware they supported abstinence-only or denied family planning services, including abortion. Moreover, I’m flabbergasted Bob Geldof, a known fathers rights proponent, is heading a maternal and child health group. Has the world gone mad? Here’s the comment I posted on Jodi’s article:

Bob Geldof is a Fathers Rights Advocate – Here he is on video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-MGHd5rz84

Note how he blames fatherlessness (read: single moms) for raising criminals and causing other social ills. Gender & marital status have little to do with raising a criminal – poverty, racism, sexism, lack of resources, lack of role models in general, drug policies, lack of gun laws, etc. have to do with social ills and crime – not single women.

 In regard to his stats & philosophies on family court, it should be noted that family court IS for couples with high conflict, most of them with domestic violence, child abuse, or child sexual abuse. Other couples (85-90%) create their own parenting plans – those that can’t – go to Family Court.

 Research finds that when men SEEK (key word) custody, they actually have higher rates of success than women. Disturbingly, batterers often seek custody (to further their control) and GET IT.

 Here’s an overview on Wikipedia on Fathers Rights Movement. Note that it has been extremely difficult to get an opposing view of the  FR movement on Wikipedia, but currently I see some sentences have been inserted that reflect opposition – thankfully. Geldof is listed at the end as a notable supporter: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fathers’_rights_movement

 It should also be noted that some advocates refer to the FR gang as the Abusers Lobby. Many of their members have had prior conflict, charges of abuse, convictions, stalking charges, etc. Here’s a compilation of charges by researcher Michael Flood: http://angelzfury.blogspot.com/2010/02/use-of-violence-by-fathers-rights.html 

 Geldof, like many other FR proponents, support traditional families – meaning they’d like to make it harder for women to get a divorce, they don’t like losing the respect of being a father/bread winner/family man, they’d like to have control over women and children, etc. — this is NOT the person who should be heading a committee for maternal and child health — this makes me sick to my stomach.

Count me as ONE LESS member of the ONE Campaign and one more of the disheartened women who has looked – but often fails to see –  progress from the UN.

Custody catastrophes

In the Custody Catastrophes department, we have a father convicted of child sexual abuse. I’m sure if this story involved a mother, it would have made national news. The father got visitation rights (which indicates the mother must have made allegations if he didn’t get shared parenting). He sexually abused the baby girl the first visitation he got. He dumped the baby in the woods and reported that she was snatched while he wasn’t looking. Luckily, she was found and taken to a hospital. This story could have had a worse ending – and all because women’s claims are not taken seriously – and abuse could have been prevented in the first place – if she was believed and he was given supervised visitation.  

Clark gets 50 years to life for attempted murder, sexual assault on his child
Cory Clarke was sentenced to 50 years to life Friday for sexually abusing his 7-month old daughter and then leaving her in the woods to die on July 4.

Clark was convicted in March of attempted murder, first-degree predatory sexual abuse on a child, incest and other first-degree felony sex crimes.

Clarke reported the baby missing to a Walmart employee. He maintained that the baby was snatched while he was changing her brother in a bathroom.

In Australia, they’re having the same problems in their Family Court system. Women’s claims of abuse go unheeded. Here is an article about a recent study from Sydney University called “No way to Live.” The study interviews 22 women.

Act aids abusive fathers, imperils children

Here’s the report, No Way to Live

And to give you an example of the misogynist Fathers Righters, here’s a link I got when I searched for the report. I’m unable to open it though.

Malicious mothers demanding changes to Australia’s Shared

Jun 24, 2010 The study, No Way to Live, will add pressure to the federal Attorney-General, Blog Directory for Sydney, New South Wales
http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/…/law-fails-children-exposed-to-harm?…AustraliaCached

Believe Women

In the Believe Women department, we have this excellent post by Elizabeth Black on the Ms. Blog:

Abused women in Maryland aren’t lying

It’s well-written and backed up by evidence both in her post and in her comment section.

If you need another reminder as to why we should believe women, see this news article on domestic violence. The father slashes his daughter’s neck and kills her 3-month-old child. She tried for 19 months to leave her father. The state attorney’s office dropped charges on one occassion, she was denied a restraining order on another, and the father ended up slashing her on the day after another restraining order ended. She did the right things, but the system set up to protect her, failed her.

Here’s the link to the article: Alleged Lehigh killer denied bond

Excerpts:

This wasn’t the first time Rosales allegedly attacked his daughter.

Deputies arrived at another Lehigh home where the family lived in October 2008 to find Rosales Salazar’s face swollen and beaten. They placed Rosales in handcuffs and charged him with battery, although the state attorney’s office would later drop the charge. It could not be determined Friday why the charge was dismissed.

AND

Once, in 2009, Rosales Salazar tried to move away from her father, but he followed her to her new home and choked her, according to court records. Her request for a protective order against him at that time was denied.

 

Here’s another article. It’s about Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS; Parental Alienation; or, Parental Disorder – because they can’t get ANY of them accepted by the scientific community). PAS is based on the misogynist principle that women lie about child sexual abuse…

The term was coined in 1985 by New York psychiatrist Richard Gardner. He described it as a disorder that causes a child to vilify a parent without reason. It often arises, he said, in bitter custody cases in which one parent brainwashes a child against the other parent by making false accusations of sexual abuse. 

The article discusses Rachel’s House, a center that receives FEDERAL FUNDS to reunite children with parents they fear or harbor negative feelings towards:

The couple say that 93 percent of the kids they have dealt with show an improved relationship with a previously reviled parent. But some children who have gone through the program say they were threatened and cut off from the parent they loved.

“You can’t just open a facility with no accreditation, no oversight and say, ‘This is what we do,’ especially when you’re dealing with vulnerable children,” Silberg says.

Hero to fathers

The controversy over Rachel House and parental alienation syndrome is fanned by what many consider the outrageous ideas of the man who inspired both.

A onetime Columbia University professor, Richard Gardner thought society is too harsh on adults who have sex with kids.

What I am against is the excessively moralistic and punitive reaction that many members of our society have toward pedophiles . . . far beyond what I consider the gravity of the crime,” he wrote in 1991.

Though he called pedophilia “a bad thing,” Gardner argued that it’s common in many cultures and that children might be less harmed by sex abuse than by the “trauma” of the legal process.

In the late ’80s and early ’90s, Gardner was widely quoted in counterpoint to what some felt were sensationalized allegations of sex abuse in day care centers. He was also a well-paid witness in custody cases, almost always appearing on behalf of the father.

Gardner contended that sex abuse allegations arising from divorce are usually false, made by a vindictive mother trying to cut off a child from the father. His typical advice: Kids should be forced to see the estranged parent, and judges should punish the “alienating” parent.

Those views made Gardner a hero to the fathers’ rights movement and an anathema to child advocacy groups.

 

 

Believe women

Cries of child abuse bounce back on mums

CHILD protection campaigners say women who accuse their former partners of sexually abusing their children are being unfairly labelled as mentally ill in the Family Court.

Child sex abuse researcher Freda Briggs and child protection advocate Charles Pragnell say recent cases show the emphasis on shared parenting responsibilities is putting children in danger.

Professor Briggs and Mr Pragnell are part of the Safer Family Law campaign and argue that amendments to the Family Law Act in 2006 were geared towards the rights of parents rather than those of children.

Professor Briggs, from the University of South Australia, specialises in research into child sex abuse. Mr Pragnell is from the National Council for Children Post-Separation, which is part of the Safer Family Law campaign. He has been called as an expert witness in child sex abuse cases in Australia, Britain and New Zealand.

They cite a Sydney case of a child who was allegedly put at risk of danger by being forced to live with her father.

An interim decision was made to order the six-year-old to live with her father, at whose house she was photographed in pornographic poses by one of his friends.

A court counsellor alleged the girl’s mother was manipulative and might suffer from a mental illness.

“The courts should focus on the needs and wants of the child, and the rights of a child to be protected from abuse,” Mr Pragnell said.

“Too often we see that a parent’s right to contact is given at all costs.”

Amendments to the Family Law Act in 2006 emphasised “co-operative” parenting and shared responsibilities.

In January, Attorney-General Robert McClelland released three reviews into these amendments.

A review by the Australian Institute of Family Studies accepts that some of the consequences of a focus on shared parenting responsibilities have been “less than favourable”.

Child Abuse Prevention Service manager Karen Craigie said women and men contacted the service regularly after raising concerns of sexual abuse and being labelled mentally ill.

“We get lots of calls about this. It is common. Women involved are often subjected to domestic violence and are very traumatised,” Ms Craigie said.

“I have heard of cases where women are so afraid of losing their children and solicitors will advise them that raising concerns of sexual abuse will make them look like they are being obstructive.”

Angela Lynch, a solicitor for the Women’s Legal Service in Queensland who has advised women in these situations, said the family court system was too “pro-father involvement”.

“In a nice family, that is a great thing. When there are issues of abuse and domestic violence, it is a huge problem,” Ms Lynch said. “If you raise sexual abuse in court, you are seen as an unfriendly parent, which is the worst thing you can be in family court.”

The Federal Magistrates Court and the Family Court of Australia would not comment.

Source: The Sun-Herald

76…and counting

Check out this recent post on Dastardly Dads – http://dastardlydads.blogspot.com/2010/02/76-killer-dads-fathers-who-ended-their.html She’s counted 76 cases of Dads murdering their children during visitation or custody. According to the Leadership Council on Child Abuse over 58,000 children go into unsupervised visitation or custody each year. These days family courts hand over the kids because, well, parental rights trump safety, don’t they? When women allege abuse, courts think they’re being ‘manipulative’ in order to get a favorable decision. They turn their backs on these women and readily hand over the kids–to abusers and murderers.

Check out these RECENT cases:

Stephen Garcia-

http://hidesertstar.com/articles/2010/02/09/news/doc4b6d247ecb7a5449445741.txt

Nicholas Bacon-

http://www.ktvb.com/news/local/Police-Man-kills-baby-then-self-83886922.html

Jesus Roman Fuentes-

http://www.hesperiastar.com/news/son-3182-shoots-san.html

Timothy Frazier-

http://www.wlky.com/news/22370318/detail.html

Murder-suicide of 7-year-old boy in Greece, NY-

http://www.democratandchronicle.com/article/20100213/NEWS01/100213001

http://www.democratandchronicle.com/article/201002140500/NEWS01/2140327

Danielle Horvat/David Aguilar

http://www.delcotimes.com/articles/2010/01/23/news/doc4b5a726799a99802477841.txt

Where’s the outrage?

In the “Where is the outrage” department, we have a recent case of a woman who alleged abuse to THREE different judges – and not one of them believed her. Result? A nine-month-old baby is dead.

This woman was denied a restraining order, called a liar in court and suffered the loss of her infant (and ex-husband).  All because of the propaganda machine (thanks to the MRAs and FR guys) that say women make false allegations of domestic violence to manipulate the court.  Apparently, the courts would prefer to save the man’s good name (you know, because the MRAs claim that restraining orders taint men’s reputations) than protect the woman and child from harm – dah! Why do that?

 THERE SHOULD BE OUTRAGE

Deadly consequences:  Judges rejected mom’s bid for restraining orders

VICTORVILLE • A woman whose ex-boyfriend murdered their infant son and then killed himself had sought a restraining order from two San Bernardino County judges only days before the murder-suicide, according to court records (click here to view records) obtained by the Daily Press.
Katie Tagle petitioned two San Bernardino County court judges for a restraining order only days before her former boyfriend, Stephen Garcia, killed himself and their 9-month-old son, Wyatt. Both requests were denied — in spite of Tagle telling a local judge that Garcia had threatened to kill their son.
My suspicion is you’re lying,” Judge Robert Lemkau said, according to transcripts from a Jan. 21 hearing in Victorville court, “but I’m keeping the custody orders in full force and effect.”
Wyatt was then turned over to Garcia that day. Both Garcia and the child were found dead 10 days later on a Twin Peaks dirt road, after Garcia took Wyatt during a court-ordered visitation.
“Having that restraining order really could’ve helped this situation and possibly may have swayed a judge to grant supervised visitations,” said Anita Gomez, case manager for A Better Way Domestic Violence Shelter.
Lemkau, who couldn’t be reached for comment, denied to make permanent a temporary restraining order signed by another judge — who at first denied Tagle’s original restraining order request.
Family members said when Tagle went in front of Judge David Mazurek in a Joshua Tree courtroom on Jan. 12, Mazurek denied the permanent restraining order despite the 23-year-old reporting Garcia had recently been abusive to her.

Dad’s murder-suicide of infant son documented on facebook, personal website

Family say courtsshut down restraining orders 

And here’s the transcript of the case — it’s awful!! Read the clear bias where he calls her a liar, refers to false allegations (in order to interrupt the father’s access to the child) and how he interrupts her when she tries to present her evidence:

Tagle-Garcia court transcript

Believe women

Here are 3 cases of domestic violence where the system failed the victims. As a result, five people in total died. In Cassandra’s case, she was killed at the age of 24 in front of her mother and sons. She feared her ex-husband, but nobody seemed to take that seriously. She followed court orders – to her peril. When she returned to Britain, her ex stabbed her to death.

Following a court order killed her

Young mother fled to Sydney to save her life

The other case involves 32-year-old Brandy Schneider. Her batterer had a great lawyer (no surprise there, batterers often have more resources and can afford better legal representation). He also had  SUPERVISED VISITATION – despite his prior convictions of battering and sexual assault. It’s rare that parental rights are terminated – perhaps it’s time to review this policy.

Friends of Brandy Schneider speak out over double murder-suicide investigation

This third case involved a woman who separated from her partner – separation is the most dangerous time for a woman – and survived his attack. Their daughter, only 4 years old, did not.

Jilted lover shoots dead daughter and leaves mum fighting for life in a crazed attack in Aldershot 

Notice that the women in these cases all WANTED their partners to have access to the children. This is consistent with research findings – the majority of women want their ex-husbands or partners, even if they were abusive, to have contact with their children.

Note too how this last article ends  – kudos to the Mirror for providing this bit of info from a professor –

SEEKING REVENGE

BY PROF JACK LEvIN

Expert on family annihilators

TYPICALLY the motive in a family annihilation is revenge.

It is normally preceded by a nasty separation, divorce or child custody battle and the primary target is almost always the wife who is blamed by the man for all his miseries.

He decides to get even by killing everything associated with her and everything she loves.

There are also cases where a man sees a murder-suicide as altruism. He may have lost his job or be in debt and cannot provide for his family. He takes their lives before his life believing they are better off dead.

Most cases develop over years, not days, but there is usually a catalyst – a negative, life-changing event. It takes several factors working together.

Whenever I read about the reason for the murders, I am amazed that it’s women that are stereotyped as vengeful. Mind you, I am against all stereotypes so it’s not like I want men to be stereotyped as vengeful. It’s just that the Men’s Rights and Fathers Rights activists are always talking about false allegations (women lie), female violence/vengeous/malicousness, women witholding access, etc. – and then when I read these articles and domestic violence research, I find the opposite – I find that many women follow court orders, provide accusations in good faith, want violent partners to have contact, etc.  It’s not a matter of he said – she said, this ridiculous refrain belittles a very serious situation – we must get to the truth of the matter and we must protect the lives of women, men and children in domestic violence – starting with relying on fear as an indicator of homicide.

Domestic violence deniers

Here’s a great article by Corey Pein in the Santa Fe Reporter. I’ve often asked, is she a liar or is he a denier? The stereoptype that women lie for malicious reasons is deeply embedded in our society (and certainly the Fathers Rights groups capitalize on this).  How many know that denial is the trademark of an abuser? Why do we minimize a couple’s conflict into a “he said/she said” when the repurcussions of the conflict can end in permanent injury or even death?

Many in the Fathers Rights groups mimic abusers – they minimize, rationalize or call domestic violence mutual. They use research that is based on self report to call attention to female-initiated violence. The data they use does not capture the context of abuse (was it self defense, for example) nor does it capture severe abuse, violence during separation (the highest point of danger for women), or homicide. Females do use what’s called Common Couple Violence – throwing things, hitting, slapping. Females, however, are far more likely to be seriously injured or killed by their partner than males are.

The Fathers Rights groups also claim women are more likely to abuse their children. This data, actually, is based on households – including those led by single mothers. When males and females are compared equally, males are more likely to commit child abuse – and again, it is more severe and fatal. Men are more likely to kill babies in shaken baby syndrome. They are also overwhelmingly the ones to commit child sexual abuse. I do not deny women abuse children – I simply believe facts should be used – not propaganda like that coming from the angry men that make up the Fathers Rights groups. It’s not constructive.

They also attack the Violence Against Women Act. Funny, because VAWA’s biggest success is probably that the rate of women killing men has gone down drastically. Why? Because these women, many of whom were abused, can go to a shelter rather than kill their abuser. They also want to limit restraining orders and punish women for false allegations (which means not producing enough witnesses or evidence).  They’ve sued shelters and stopped funding for pro-bono legal help for women.

It’s clear what their agenda is: remove protection for women and children. Until they acknowledge the seriousness of domestic violence, we will be at a stalemate. They will be angrily chipping away at safety measures for women and children. We will be left, with the few resources we do have, to clutching the few measures we do have that protect us from domestic harm. Domestic violence has only been recognized publicly for 4 decades – laws, especially regarding marital rape, are still evolving. At its infancy, it’s being attacked.   

Man up by Corey Pein

Power to the perps

Not only can men murder their wives, they can dictate where the children will live:

Murder suspect wants to place kids

A Fayette County man accused of running over over his wife with his car and killing her wants his parents to have legal custody of two of his children.

In addition, Ronald Lee Higinbotham wants the cousins of a third adopted child to have custody of that youngster.

Higinbotham, 44, of Brownsville, is charged by state police with criminal homicide in the hit-and-run death of his wife, 30-year-old Carmen Higinbotham.

In a criminal complaint, state police allege Higinbotham drove his 2000 Hyundai Tiburon over his wife shortly before midnight June 20 on Route 40 near 7235 National Pike, then left her to die.

Carmen Higinbotham was the mother of six children, including two of her own, two stepchildren and two who were adopted.

According to separate civil actions scheduled to be presented in Fayette County motions court today, Ron Higinbotham is the natural father of two of the children – a 9-year-old girl and a 6-year-old boy. He is the adoptive father of a third child, identified as a 15-year-old boy.

The two younger children are staying in West Brownsville with Ron Higinbotham’s parents, Patricia Ann and Donald Lee Higinbotham Sr., according to one of the filings.

In a separate civil action, Higinbotham wants a judge to grant custody of the adopted 15-year-old boy to the boy’s cousins. The boy’s cousins, Eric W. and Maxine R. Rosie, of Smithfield, already are caring for the teen, according to the civil filing.

Attached to both filings are custody agreements, both of which have been agreed to and signed by Ron Higinbotham.

 

He remains lodged in the Fayette County Prison without bond. He faces a preliminary hearing scheduled for 9 a.m. Aug. 28 before South Union Township District Judge Joseph George Jr.

Man accused of shooting and killing wife asks for children to be moved to safer home

From the victim’s family: “My family is very confused about the processes of child services and why they would respect the wishes of Mr. Norris in regards to his children when he is the reason his children are in the place that they are. We need help here, as it seems no one really cares that these kids’ mother died from his carelessness.”

Grandparents adopt Elijah after long Hawaii court fights with killer

After a nearly four-year battle in Hawai’i courts, Minnesota residents Steve and Donna LaDuke finally and officially can call Elijah, 5, their son.

The many hurdles the LaDukes overcame to adopt their grandson following the 2005 murder of his mother exposed a huge gap in the judicial and child-custody system here and nationally, the couple said.

In cases where one parent murders another, they said, the legal process is set up mainly to protect the killer’s parental rights, even at the expense of the children.

How much more proof do we need before we reform family court?!?

What’s a mother to do?

Here’s an article from the UK that sums up the “raw deal” (a term used by fathers righters) mothers face in family court:

Inside the family courts: A raw deal for mums?

After years of high-profile stunts by pressure groups such as Fathers4Justice, many people assume that men still systematically fare badly in family courts. But in the wake of a recent spate of stories highlighting the treatment of mothers considered “too stupid” or disruptive or too busy working to look after, or even be allowed contact with, their children, some question if the pendulum has begun to swing the other way.

I hear the stories of mothers whose experiences have convinced them of it. Isabel is a former teacher, aged 40, now living in the northeast of England. Her voice trembles as she tells of a lengthy legal battle with her wealthy ex-husband for custody of her son. “He left me when I was pregnant and showed little interest in our son at first. But as soon as he got a new girlfriend with children of her own, he wanted to impress her by playing the family man, and applied for contact and eventually full custody,” she says. Her ex-husband, a prominent businessman, Isabel says, is a bully who intimidated social workers into writing negative reports about her mothering abilities. She tried to challenge them in court, only to be told, she says, by the judge who granted her son’s father increased contact: “Any more from you and you will never see your son again.”

“It was all about control as far as my ex was concerned,” she says, “and because he had a cousin in the legal profession, he knew how to play the system. I began to be treated like some sort of criminal and entered a living hell.”

You could hand them over:

Icelandic woman forced to give up children to USA

An Icelandic woman received a court order to return to the United States with her two children before the next coming Sunday. Borghildur Gudmundsdottir had the two children with an American soldier who wants to have custody over the children in the United States. Gudmundsdottir told Morgunbladid she wonders if it is considered alright to throw Icelanders out from their own country “like throwing out old rags”. She continued, asking who has the right to kick two children out of a country and strip all security and safety from their mother. Her children are aged 10 and five and are said to be doing well in school and life in Iceland.

 

You might be forced to have visitation:

Police arrest man after park incident

He allegedly pointed a loaded gun at his former girlfriend, Calah Trostel, 25, of Medford, at about 4:17 p.m. at the park along Holmes Avenue in southwest Medford just three hours after a Jackson County Circuit Court judge denied Trostel’s petition for a restraining order against Breaux and temporary custody of their son.

“I just couldn’t believe it,” Trostel said. “If I had gotten that restraining order none of this would have happened.”

Breaux and Trostel, who was accompanied by relatives and friends, met at the park so that Breaux could visit their 3-year-old son shortly before the fight ensued at about 4:17 p.m., said police Lt. Tim Doney.

Trostel said if she had been granted a restraining order and temporary custody, she could have sent a relative to bring their son for the visit.

Without the restraining order, she said, she had to accompany the toddler. Otherwise, Breaux would have had the legal right to take him from anyone who isn’t the boy’s mother, she said.

“At some point, he started taking the child to his vehicle,” Doney said. Some of Trostel’s relatives and friends intervened to stop him, Doney said. Breaux then went to his vehicle and pulled into the South Holly Street parking lot where Trostel, her son, her 11-year-old niece and her 7-year-old nephew were getting into a parked vehicle, Trostel said. Breaux allegedly blocked the vehicle from leaving and pointed a loaded semi-automatic handgun at Trostel, Doney said.

Well, you could sue:

Mother sues over baby’s murder 

The mother of a baby murdered by his father is now suing over his death.
Candice Dempsey filed a federal lawsuit Thursday morning against the city of Lawrenceburg and two police officers, Chris Atkins and Nathan Doty.
Dempsey says the officers took 21-month old Cole Frazier from her back in May and gave him to his father, Timothy Frazier. Frazier shot and killed the toddler and then committed suicide at his Nelson County home back in May.
Dempsey claims the officers didn’t have authority to remove the baby from her custody. She says they took the baby because they didn’t read an emergency protection order properly.

You could also appeal:

Breaking news: Mother regains custody after appeal

After years of litigation a little boy is returned to the legal custody of his mother after the New York Appellate Division of the Supreme Court, Second Department, in the case of Larkin v. White, Appeal Number 2009-00143 overturned the New York Family Court Decision, docket numbers V-09582-07 and V-9760/07 granting custody to the Father. The decision deals with Judical custody and is published on line at http://www.courts.state.ny.us, and at http://www.nycdivorcelawyer.net. New York divorce attorney Lisa Beth Older represented the Mother.

 

But, really folks, does it have to come to this? Stop punishing women. Start listening to women and children. Take allegations of abuse seriously.

That’s not too much to ask, is it?