Domestic violence

Domestic violence is highlighted in the current issue of Journal of Child Custody:

Domestic violence issues in child custody

The Leadership Council has this posted, along with the abstracts.

Please remind the media to write about domestic violence and custody – the family courts are often ‘mandating’ abuse (like Cassandra’s case, see below) – it’s a topic that needs to be written about widely.

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One comment on “Domestic violence

  1. I decided to put out into the universe some helpful information to help women or anybody in an abusive situation know they have options. No one ever deserves to be abused and it is never your fought. Hope this information is useful!

    What is Domestic Violence?
    Domestic violence is a pattern of physical or psychological abuse, threats, intimidation, isolation or economic coercion used by one person to exert power and control over another person in a dating, family or household relationship. Unfortunately, many people feel domestic violence is a private matter and often choose to suffer alone in silence. It is not, or it should not be a private matter, it is a CRIME!!!

    Forms of Abuse

    Emotional Abuse:
    It harms a person’s self-image and self-esteem. It often causes shame or the individual to question themselves.

    Repeated lies
    Withholding affection
    Extreme jealousy
    Frequent insults and put-downs
    Threats the person safety or loved one’s safety
    Controlling the person’s whereabouts, dress, eat & etc.
    Physical Abuse:
    It causes physical pain or injuries.
    Any unwanted physical act that is unwanted and hurtful (even hugging, tickling or kissing if unwanted)

    Kicking
    Slapping
    Attack with a knife, gun or any other object consider to be a weapon
    Any physical unwanted act that is hurtful.
    Sexual Abuse:
    It is any kind of unwanted sexual advance or contact. This can include anything from unwelcomed touching, kissing, intercourse or unwanted sexual comments. Forced sexual intercourse between two people is always called “date rape” and unfortunately is too, too common and goes unreported.

    How Can You Help?

    Support
    Be an Advocate
    Support Causes that Support Survivors
    Educate your loved ones of the problems that exist
    Volunteer

    Listen

    National Domestic Violence Help-line
    (800) 799-7233
    (800) 787-3224 TDD

    Chicago Domestic Violence Help-line
    (877) 863-6338
    (877) 884-0005

    Safety Planning
    Planning for safety during a violent act involves figuring out how to safely exit the home or finding a lower-risk place to go if an argument happens. As a result, a place with no exits, such as bathrooms or closets, or that provide access to weapons such as in kitchens or garages, are difficult and unlikely to provide safety. Individuals should make a list of people they might contact in an emergency or places they coud go to if they decide to leave.

    Safety Plan Emergency Checklist & Other Important Items to Possibly Take When Leaving:

    ___ Identification for yourself
    ___ Driver license or state ID
    ___ Your birth certificate
    ___ Child/Children birth certificates
    ___ Social security card for yourself
    ___ Social security cards for your child/ children
    ___ Money
    ___ Lease, rental agreement, deed to house, Mortgage information
    ___ Wallet, checkbook, credit cards, ATM
    ___ Orders of Protection
    ___ Insurance cards & policies
    ___ Keys
    ___ Medications
    ___ Address book
    ___ Pictures
    ___ Shot & school records
    ___ Passport, work permits, green card
    ___ Divorce
    ___ Jewelry or whatever you feel is necessary
    ___ Journal of details of physical abuse with dates, times & what occurred
    Profile of an Abuser:

    Jealous – Accuses victim of being unfaithful or flirting
    Isolate partner or limit contact with friends and family
    Tries to control partner
    Jekyll & Hyde personality, Nice around other people and terrible alone in person with you.
    Threaten to hurt you or your children/ family
    Very critical may say “No one will ever want you or you are ugly”
    Blames other all the times for their actions
    Bad tempers
    Threaten suicide or have made suicide attempts
    Always apologizes after abuse and make a lot of false promise of future changes.
    Comes from an abusive family (Cycle of Abuse tends to repeat itself if help is not received)

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