We never saw it coming…

A man in Alabama shot his estranged wife, 16-year old daughter, 2 family members and himself right before his divorce trial. Reporters wrote how family, friends and neighbors never saw it coming.

Read the article here.

“…gave no hints of the mayhem to come, police and court officials say” (umm, how could court officials be CLUELESS when the wife alleged domestic violence IN COURT????)

If the reporters would have asked domestic violence experts, they would have learned that this was not a shock but rather a classic case.

Separation presents the most dangerous time to a woman, especially when there has been domestic violence or child abuse. This is a time when violence can start for the first time, when violence can escalate, or when stalking and harrassment begins or exacerbates. (In contrast, most men that leave abusive women, leave trouble behind.)

Why the media continues to frame these cases as “shocking” —shocking to the friends of the abuser/killer that is— is outrageous. Had they interviewed the friends of the wife’s, they could have learned that there was a history of domestic violence, that perhaps she tried leaving him before, and that probably he had threatened her life. But, nooooo….we are all too often left with the kind words spoken about the abusive guy that “gasp!” kills his wife and kids and leaves people (his friends) “shocked” – shocking, indeed.  

And, more shocking news, we hear the kind words said of this same killer in this article:

“an all American guy”

“a perfect gentleman”

How about showing a little sympathy for the victims?! It’s a pretty ruthless society that shows kind words to the perpetrators and not a single damn one for the victims.

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