Father absent headlines, or my father the gunman

If this were a mother, the term “mother” or “mom” would be in every headline (and would have made national news).

In this case, a husband/father killed 6 people – his wife and her family – and injured 4 – at their son’s birthday party. Some of the articles blame the woman for not divorcing him or filing a restraining order – but, really, folks, a divorce would not have saved her – this is what angered him (and, indeed research indicates separation and divorce are the height of danger for a woman). And, a restraining order? Maybe – if it was enforced by the police.

Another activist brought this page to our attention. Notice out of the 21 articles, only  ONE  refer to him as a husband. Six refer to him simply as a “gunman.” Really? The “gunman” was the father of the little boy celebrating his birthday – and then – witnessing his father kill his mother, her family, and then the “gunman” killed himself.

Gunman =6

Man =1

Husband =1

Father/dad =0

No mention of his relationship to the victims at all =13

Google search

Here are the first three:

Grand Prairie shooting victims leave behind families, dreams

Dallas
Morning News (subscription) – ‎19 hours
ago‎

By From staff reports Trini Do worked two jobs and taught
Sunday school, as well as caring for her two children, friends said. She worked
full time doing accounting and grant management at the University of Texas at
Arlington, where she earned a …

Police Believe Gunman Planned Roller Rink
Shootings

NBC
Dallas-Fort Worth – Amanda
Guerra – ‎40 minutes ago‎

Grand Prairie police said the 35-year-old man who shot and
killed five people at Roller World in Grand Prairie planned his attack. Police
say investigators believe the deadly weekend attack at a Grand Prairie
roller-skating rink was …

Family in Shock after Birthday Party
Shooting Rampage

FOX 4
News – Tracy
DeLatte – ‎2 hours ago‎

GRAND PRAIRIE, Texas – The wounded who survived the shooting
rampage at a Grand Prairie skating rink are sharing their eyewitness accounts of
what happened. Hoi Ta and his family moved to North Texas from Vietnam nearly
two decades ago in search of a …

Are men and women held to a different standard when disciplining a child?

You be the judge…

Judge admonishes Mom for spanking daughter

(Newser)                                                                 –                                                                A mother in Texas who got arrested after spanking her toddler received five years’ probation and a stern lecture from the judge this week, reports KZTV. “You don’t spank children today,” District Court Judge Jose Longoria told Rosalina Gonzales. “In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don’t spank children. You understand?” Gonzales, who also must attend parenting classes in Corpus Christi and pay a $50 fine to a children’s center, responded, “Yes, sir.”

Police arrested her on charges of causing injury to a child in December, after the almost-2-year-old girl’s grandmother notice red marks on her rear and took her to a hospital to be checked out. Prosecutors described it as “pretty simple, straightforward spanking case,” reports WVLT-TV. Gonzales has lost custody of the girl and her two other children, though it’s not clear whether the spanking charges figured into that.

Hawaii:  Court allows ‘parental discipline’ defense

The State Supreme Court ruled 3 to 2 that a man convicted of punching his stepson should have been allowed to raise parental discipline as a defense. The decision allows for Cedric Kikuta to be retried because the trial judge refused to allow jurors to consider the defense that he was disciplining the 14-year-old boy. The trial judge had rejected the defense because the boy’s nose was broken by Mr. Kikuta, who wanted him to clean a carpet stain.       

New York Times: ‘Nice guys’ rape 11-year-old

Here’s a combination of the ‘nice guys’ rape scenario and victim-blaming. In this case, the victim is an11-year-old child. And the perpetrators are boys and men, ranging from middle-schoolers to 27 years in age. They raped the girl under the threat of a beating. In the article, the writer, James C. McKinley Jr., has quotes in the article that blames the victim (she wore make-up, dressed in clothing that made her look older; where was her mother) and praised the perps (they’ll have to live with this the rest of their lives)

Here are my thoughts:

1) Who else has reported on this? I haven’t searched it yet, but I’ve only heard about the NY Times piece. Why is it that this crime didn’t get national attention?

2) A link below has a response from the NY Times. They stand by this piece. They said the reporter used quotes – they weren’t his words. Aaaaah! So, if we can use quotes (choosing from, I assume, many quotes), we no longer are responsible!!! It’s as if those words jumped on the page themselves. I’ve encountered this problem before and I don’t buy it. The least the writer can do is interview an anti-rape advocate to counter the victim blaming.

3) When is society going to wake up? This should serve as the wake up call, but I doubt it will. A MIDDLE SCHOOLER was involved in this gang-rape. THE VICTIM WAS A CHILD.  Really? No public outrage? We should be ashamed to call ourselves humans. Having a conscience is what separates humans from animals — in this case, we are no different.

4) Men in their 20s raped this 11 year old. Hello!! This is pedophilia, folks. Why didn’t the NY Times deal with this? 

Here’s the NY Times piece: Gang rape of schoolgirl, and arrests, shakes Texas town

Here’s their reply, posted in The Cutline news blog  NY Times responds to backlash over reporting of an alleged child rape (alleged rape?! it was caught on tape, it was a rape)

The Times responded Wednesday evening to The Cutline: “Neighbors’ comments about the girl, which we reported in the story, seemed to reflect concern about what they saw as a lack of supervision that may have left her at risk,” said Danielle Rhoades Ha, a spokeswoman for the paper. “As for residents’ references to the accused having to ‘live with this for the rest of their lives,’ those are views we found in our reporting. They are not our reporter’s reactions, but the reactions of disbelief by townspeople over the news of a mass assault on a defenseless 11-year-old.”

Rhodes Ha also stressed that the paper stands by the controversial piece.

“We are very aware of and sensitive to the concerns that arise in reporting about sexual assault,” Rhoades Ha said. “This story is still developing and there is much to be learned about how something so horrific could have occurred.”

Read the NY Times letter to the editor

Mother Jones has quotes from the article & analysis: The NY Times’ rape-friendly reporting

Victim-blaming in the NY Times Cleveland gang rape article

The fword blog: Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused  (Domestic violence victims are also the “accused” – they nag or cheat or otherwise do something to deserve the beating. They, like rape victims, are also accused of lying.)

Here’s Salon’s reaction: The NY Times’ sloppy, slanted child rape story 

Here’s a petition on Change.org Tell the NY Times to apologize for blaming a child for her gang rape