Has the pendulum swung too far away from our patriarchal roots? That’s the opinion of some.
Here’s Barbara Kay, up in Canada, talking about the so-called gender wars:
I contacted her by email. For one who riles against ideology, her beliefs are are rooted in it. She’d rather believe 200 studies (self report, with limitations) on mutual domestic violence paint a better overall picture than the 1000s of studies that exist on domestic violence that find men are more often batterers (women use common couple violence, but they are not likely to be batterers who use physical violence, coercion and threats).
Here was the letter to the editor I wrote:
It would be pointless to call those who advocate against child abuse “adult-bashers.” And it would be ridiculous to call animal rights activists “people haters” and make them state that “not all people abuse animals.” So too would it be ludicrous to call women’s rights advocates “male bashers” or “man-haters”, yet it happens, as Barbara Kay reminds us in “The End of the Gender Wars.” If the so-called gender wars are to truly end, men would provide “equal parenting” at birth, not at divorce. And, together with women, men would denounce domestic violence – not refer to it as an “industry” or say that it punishes “innocent men” or claim that women are liars (because they are against stereotypes as much as we are). They would recognize that domestic violence has no place in a healthy family unit. They would stop attacking the field of domestic violence and start understanding abuse and working towards ending it – because abuse cannot exist in a society that values women, men, children and family units of all shapes and sizes. The gender war has only begun to heat up with the recent attacks on domestic violence and family court issues. Destructive rather than constructive methods like these will continue to fuel it for years to come. Those who call an end to war must first put down their weapons.
And here’s a letter that got printed – I didn’t write it:
Here’s another article about the pendulum swinging too far towards feminism (isn’t that scary – I mean, wouldn’t it be just horrible if we had an equal society?!):
I don’t recall feminists ever asking for an apology or for half the population to feel guilty. Feminists wanted equality, respect, independence, credit for hard work, etc. We are not responsible for bias towards men who take care of children – if anything feminists have helped create this atmosphere where men are encouraged to take on childcare and household responsiblities.
In one of his comments, he says the “pendulum has swung too far.” Really? We still have: unfair pay and promotion, unbalanced childcare and household responsibilities, sexual harassment, sexual trafficking, rape, impunity for celebrities & athletes, domestic violence, battered women losing custody, being the target of serial killers, whorification in the media, hypersexualization of women and young girls, porn culture that may use violence/drugs/minors, etc. etc. etc. THIS IS EQUALITY?! This is the pendulum swinging too far? You gotta be kidding me.
And here’s another one - this article is really more about including young men in the feminist movement – but it annoys me because it sounds like feminists should overlook sexist jokes and change OUR approach because it’s humorless and unattractive. Really? Does one have to laugh at misogyny in order to make feminism attractive to young people? Like, hey, I know you’re sensible enough to realize the objectification of women in that magazine – and hey isn’t it just great you support the publication? Isn’t it terrific we have billions going into porn? It’s not like that money could be going to better use, right? I don’t know, I don’t get it. (and, for the record, I’m not necessarily against porn, I just wish like all things it was created for both women and men in mind).